Abuse-Enabling Beliefs Remain

Someone sent me the latest Rigpa sangha news and it inspired another vlog. I know I said I was planning on not talking about Rigpa, but I did say that I would respond when something called for it, and this did. I find that the way Rigpa continues as if everything is solved or being dealt with when the core issue of their thinking on the matter remains unexamed kind of sleasy. It’s like car salesmen giving a speel on a car that’s had a new paint job but the engine is barely holding together. Buy at your own risk.

The vlog is about 20 mins.

If you’d like a more private place to chat about your ongoing spiritual path after you’ve left an abusive community, you can join the Beyond the Temple Facebook group. This group is for people who don’t want to talk about abuse, but want to keep in touch and share their discoveries, inspiration and challenges as they move on with their lives.

If you want to talk about abuse, then Rigpa or ex-Rigpa students can join the secret What Now? groupApply via the contact form here, telling us about yourself and why you want to join the group. 

Students from other Vajrayana communities who need somewhere where they can talk about abuse and find survivor support can join the Survivors of Vajrayana Abuse and their Allies group.  

Note that you will not be added to these groups if you don’t answer the questions.

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2 Replies to “Abuse-Enabling Beliefs Remain”

  1. Thankyou Tahlia for the vlog – it seems to cover pretty much everything related to the situation!
    Couple of thoughts:
    As you say, looking to Dzongsar Khyentse for a genuine acknowledgement of the wrongdoing and for constructive and innovative ways forward will be a self defeating and pointless exercise – as it must be obvious to all by now. Let us remember and hold onto Mingyur Rinpoche’s words that ‘abuse is not a teaching tool.’ Abuse and trauma are not only unnecessary teaching methods but are extremely counterproductive and go against the very heart of Buddhism.
    Also, having experienced harm at the hands of a lama and within a sangha, it is my observation that unfortunately it may well be that it is the most ‘damaged’ people that wind up being further abused by a lama because they are familiar with/have greater tolerance for power imbalance and abusive treatment such as gas lighting, servitude, appeasing the abuser etc and arr also not clear on what is a healthy relationship with appropriate behaviours and boundaries etc They are also more likely to be more driven to escape their previous suffering and therefore are prepared to undergo more radical and extreme pathways …. just speaking from personal experience.

    So ironic too, the denigration of Western values over feudalist Tibetan ones! The only thing destroying the dharma has been an unsavoury, exploitative bunch of opportunistic ‘lamas’ – how dare they try and blame us!

    1. Yes. It is pretty absurb that some blame Western values, but it’s a common response to being acused of something. It’s called DARVO – Deny, attack, reverse victim offender – so they turn the victim into the offender.

      Your point about the most damaged remaining is a good one, and I agree. It’s very sad. Also those who grew up in an abusive family would see an abusive family situation as quite normal. Unfortunately for them it is abuse heaped upon abuse.

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