Dear Vinciane, Sophie, Alex, Eric, Gill, and Catherine,
Thank you for your recent ‘reaching out to each other email’ (to view the email, scroll down to the second entry), which asked us to share our thoughts and suggestions about the letter sent to Sogyal Rinpoche from 8 students alleging abuse, and his response.
Please let me introduce myself for those of you who don’t know me. I have been a student of Sogyal Rinpoche for thirty years, attended the 3-year retreat, and am currently a member of the Dzogchen Mandala. I was a Rigpa Director for 13 years and an instructor for 7 years.
I completely understand how difficult all this must be for you, as I was in a leadership position during the 1994-95 lawsuit against Sogyal Rinpoche and Rigpa. My heart is with you as you navigate these troubled waters, just as it is with those who have suffered.
Before I can share my thoughts and suggestions about the letter sent to Sogyal Rinpoche and his response, I feel I need to share concerns about your email communication to the sangha.
I’m deeply grateful you have reached out to open up dialogue concerning the allegations of abuse. I trust you have the best of intentions so please do not take my remarks as personal criticism. But I think you need to take these thoughts into consideration if you want to establish a forum for honest and full communication.
Here are my thoughts and suggestions, a bit of what I’ve heard from others, about your email: Continue reading “A Letter to Rigpa International Regarding Allegations of Abuse”
As you can imagine, responses to the letter containing allegations of abuse in Rigpa varied widely. Some expressed anger that the behavior of their teacher could ever be questioned and faulted the 8 signers. Others felt relieved this information had finally come to light. And still others said they’re were slowly progressing through the five classic stages of grief as defined by Kubler-Ross: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Following is just a small sampling of the many affirmative responses to the letter. The intention behind sharing them is to help others feel less alone, especially if you feel conflicted or in pain. Hopefully, these words will also help arouse compassion for the genuine suffering that has occurred. Continue reading “How Some Students Responded to Allegations of Abuse by Sogyal Rinpoche”
During August of 2016, Sogyal Lakar gut-punched a nun in front of an assembly of more than 1,000 students at the Lerab Ling Retreat Center in France. Recently, the nun responded to allegations that this constitutes abuse, saying this is an acceptable part of her Buddhist training. These arethoughts on the matter from Constance O’Mara, now a former Rigpa student:
She might be okay with violence being perpetrated against her, but I’m not. Nor is our society. There was a Muslim woman in the news recently saying being hit by her husband was okay and a blessing. Our law says otherwise. So perhaps there’s another way he can bless her?
Me leaving the Rigpa organisation (and taking my dollars with me) is a statement of a clear position on the unacceptability of violence. There’s enough suffering in the world (and in our own heads) already without purposefully inflicting it upon ourselves and others.
We need to consider the impact on the witnesses too. Human beings are naturally altruistic. Seeing someone assaulted creates a flight or fright response. It does not settle the mind. It stirs it up. And if it doesn’t, that is not called enlightenment, it’s called ‘desensitisation to violence’. Continue reading “You Might Be Okay with Violence, but I'm Not”
Dear Senior Students, Instructors and Administrators,
What you say and do right now is of upmost importance, given the current crisis surrounding allegations of abuse. Many people are waiting and watching to see how Sogyal Rinpoche, Rigpa International and National Rigpa organizations respond after SR’s initial letter to the sangha, to decide whether to remain a Rigpa student or to leave.
Silence, denial, and exclusion of certain voices may very well tip people further and further away from Sogyal Rinpoche and Rigpa or cause them to leave entirely.
For example, here’s feedback offered by one student after the first delayed stream of the Ngondro Retreat in Lerab Ling:
“Not once in recent weeks had I lost interest in being a part of the Rigpa Sangha. I consistently felt optimism about the possibility for connection and renewal offered by the cracking-open that is underway.
That came crashing down when I saw ‘The Important Message Regarding the Delayed Streaming’ at the outset of the delayed streaming of the Ngondro Retreat.
Some questions to contemplate…
The devastating shock of my father’s unexpected death led me to TBLD and the R organization. What led you to R?
I stayed in longer than I should have, ignoring my feelings and common sense. If that sounds familiar to you, why did you stay as long as you did? Continue reading “Some Questions to Contemplate”
I would like to share the following, as food for thought:
Let me introduce myself: I am still and fully intend to remain, a student of SR. For maybe 20 years SR has been the absolute root of my spiritual path and the source of so much profound understanding and liberation that, even if I wanted to, I could not cut that sacred bond. I know the organization is not a sect, SR is not a fraud, and we’re neither brainwashed nor gullible, and that things can be different than they seem. I do not waver in my devotion. Yet that doesn’t mean that everything is fine, nor that I can understand or condone what has happened to people.
You probably don’t know me, because illness has kept me both from being able to work for the organization on a more than incidental basis or go to any other retreat but the Amsterdam ones. But let it be a demonstration of the power of his teachings and blessings that they are fully present in me! Because my illness also created an intense need to work with my mind, SR is vey close to my heart. I am fully ‘marinated in his teachings’ and have enough inner experiences to have no doubt at this point.
Yet not having experienced SR outside his teaching role, I have no means of ascertaining for myself what is true or not from either side of the fence, so I’ve just been trying to listen and understand. These are my personal thoughts for contemplation, from an insider outsider view. I apologize that at points I sure sound like a know-it-all. Unfortunately, I’m not… I’m an armchair warrior and have no idea of how it is to actually work for the organization and put your money where your mouth is. I must admit it’s all just theory and little actual realization, but this is what I would like to strive for.
I recognize the value of wrathful, crazy teaching. In my own life the greatest breakthroughs came in times of great despair, when something was painfully busted. But to find the courage and space to be able to open up in the pain also required feeling completely held by love and wisdom. Insights can’t be forced. If you experience abuse, and nothing is transformed or opened up besides fear and pain, wrathful teaching stops being skilful. You can’t be shocked into finding the deep unwavering strength of your true being if your mind is completely absorbed by panic, fear, and trauma, only wanting to be everywhere else but there. No matter how well the intention, it just can’t work. And it stops being right. Continue reading “Maybe Pure Perception Is To Never Look Away”
When Mimi’s story came out several years ago, senior students in R led me to believe that the online activity was all masterminded by one disgruntled Irish student with the ability to mobilise others to her cause. The methods of some who have a clear agenda to ‘bring him down’ are indeed cyber-bullying tactics, and the anger behind the campaign just makes any truth that may be in it easy to dismiss.
But this ‘big reveal’ email was communication from within the sangha to the sangha, this simple ‘telling it like it is’, is not an angry campaign aimed at bringing anyone down. It is a clear statement that reveals the teacher’s abusive behaviour and its damaging results. It is a request for SR to see his abusive behaviour, to admit that it caused harm, to fully regret his action and to never repeat such behaviour again.
This is Vajrayana in action. A result of all the 100 syllable mantras the Rigpa sangha has been accumulating for SR’s health. It is the dirt coming out. As it must for SR’s karma to be purified so that he can live long. The only thing that can purify this karma is the Four Powers of Purification: Confession. Regret. Reparation; and a vow never to repeat the negative action.
The courageous ‘gang of 8’ is not the cause of the negative karma, SR’s actions are. The gang of 8 could be seen as emanations of Vajrasattva, agents of purification sent by Ekazati to defend the Dzogchen teachings. Why not? Many positive things have come from their actions already. Continue reading “Confessions of a Devoted Student – Part 3”
Why didn’t I see the truth that students were hurting? Because I saw the teacher in person only once a year, and only during a teaching, and because senior students told me those close to him had asked for this ‘special training’, and because I didn’t see anything that clearly stepped over a line: I didn’t see him punching someone hard, several times, in obvious anger while telling them they were useless, as one member of the Australian team recently told me that he observed in the last tour.
Surely, I thought, if they don’t see it as a problem, then who am I to judge? But clearly it was, or became, a problem for some, so much so that they eventually came to see it as abuse. And what happened to them is a great deal more damaging than anything I saw. And they struggled for years before they found a way to get out. Only when reading about trauma bonding and brainwashing techniques did I realise just how badly they had been trapped in a cycle of abuse that was enabled by a system of beliefs that supported it as not only acceptable, but also normal. A belief system adhered to so blindly by those around this teacher that those who recognised the abuse for what it was had no support, but were made to feel that their perception was not pure enough and their devotion was not strong enough. They were made to feel that it was their fault! Continue reading “Confessions of a Devoted Student – Part 2”
The love in the room is palpable. It flows directly from the man on the dais at the front into my heart, and into the heart of the other 300 people sharing this experience. He swivels on his chair and scans the room, looking at each of the students in turn. He does not rush. He holds us all with his wisdom mind. He looks at me and our minds connect. Heart-mind in one. Transformative power flows through him from his masters and from their masters before them. He is a light bulb plugged into the socket of devotion, and the blessings of the lineage flow through him into me. He is all the lineage masters in one. He is Guru Rinpoche. He is also a mirror. He mirrors and evokes my own wisdom mind. I recognise it and smile. His eyes twinkle and the corner of his mouth rises just slightly, then he turns to the next person. I remain in spacious awareness.
In that moment, I hear and see all and every single sound and sight in its own place all at once, in one glance—panoramic awareness—and I hold it all in my heart, aware of every interconnection that brings it all into being and keeps it always changing. The world is luminous, alive with being. Like my lama, my Vajra brothers and sisters are perfect in their primordial nature. This is without a shred of doubt the perfect time, the perfect place, the perfect teacher, the perfect teaching and the perfect students. It still is. It always is. Continue reading “Confessions of a Devoted Student – Part 1”
The foundation of the Buddhist spiritual path is refuge. It’s also the start of any Vajrayana practice, and so how we relate to and experience refuge is very important. If we see our refuge as a human being, that refuge is fallible; such a refuge will die, and before then they may disappoint us, may turn out not to be the reliable being we thought they were. Sound familiar?
But refuge in Buddhadharma is supposed to be an infallible refuge. It’s supposed to be a refuge that is always there and always reliable. But it’s very easy, especially when a teacher encourages you to see him as the object of refuge—‘Do you know who I really am?’—to make your refuge the human teacher, so when your faith in the human is shattered, your refuge crumbles as well, and it brings your whole practice down with it.
But that won’t happen if you understand that ultimately your refuge is not and never was a human being that can fail you. Even on the surface level, the lama is only one small part of the whole picture. Let’s look at the practice itself: