Some questions to contemplate…
The devastating shock of my father’s unexpected death led me to TBLD and the R organization. What led you to R?
I stayed in longer than I should have, ignoring my feelings and common sense. If that sounds familiar to you, why did you stay as long as you did?
If you are shocked and unsure of how to proceed, what would it feel like not to jump immediately back into the teachings or looking for a new teacher—a new and better way to do things? What might it feel like to just sit with the feelings that are arising for a bit? To be “adrift” without someone at the top telling you what to do?
When someone comes forward to tell their story of abuse, what would it feel like to just listen rather than giving a dharma lesson or talk about “seeing both sides” (loving SR but hating the actions) or stressing “harmony” or recommending new teachers or explaining how you personally didn’t witness any abuse? (I know from my own experience that any of the aforementioned responses had the effect of shutting me down. I felt utterly unheard and alone.) The “Three Wisdom Tools” are listening and hearing / contemplation and reflection / meditation and action. Is it possible to simply listen and really HEAR what the person is saying?
To those who have been hurt by SR and the R sangha, it is my hope that you find a place (this group or elsewhere) where you can LET IT FLY: the laughter, the tears, the confusion, the anger…all of the mess that makes you (and all of us) so beautifully human. You have suffered, and you don’t have to be neat and proper as you work your way through it.
Written by James Morgan. This post was first published in the What Now? Facebook Group. On request, James kindly gave his permission to share it here.
If you have any thoughts to share, let us know in the comments. Please use initials rather than full names when referring to teachers and organizations.
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